Changing With the Times

Gosh, it's been a long time.... Our lives have totally changed for sure. My last post was in January '09? I had just gained 2 son-in-laws. Since then our family of 7 has been impacted by marital stresses, miscarriages, untimely pregnancies, adult children moving home, hospitalizations, surgeries, and children choosing to walk outside the will of God. Most of my tears and fears have been recorded in a journal hence no posts. I probably wouldn't have recorded most of that online anyway. It was way too hard.

But, as always, God has had His way in my life. I sure wish I could have learned these lessons without all this, for sure. But I've learned that God is good, even when things don't look good. In fact, when circumstances don't look good, He is up to something good. I'm seeing a few good things come about. I'm patiently awaiting the others. And that is one lesson I'm learning. Patience. Waiting on God. In my care group I sort of make a joke about it by saying that God has instructed me to "sit down and shut up". That is my loose translation of "Be still and know that I am God". I'm learning. My heart is learning to be still in the midst of the sunami of trials we have had to face this year. (I say "sunami" because the afore mentioned list took place in 9 short months.)

So I sit here tonight, switching back and forth between the NLCS and the Mizzou/OK game, listening to the voices of my 2 granddaughters downstairs, thinking about what a blessing my life really is. In spite of the trials. And most likely because of the trials. God is definitely good. Faithful. I not only trust that God is going to do what He promised, but I BELIEVE He will do what He promised.

The River or The Banks?

It's pretty simple, really. When I think about creation, how it might have looked, the Garden and all....I can't help but think about us. About mankind. About exactly how and why we were created. I suppose I learned a long time ago that man was created to worship God....to praise Him. However, it has just come to my realization that there is something deeper there than the obvious. Yes. We were created to worship and praise God, but what exactly does that mean?

Let's take, oh a fish, for instance. Pretty simple creature from our perspective. Swims all day. Looking for something to eat. Eats what was intended for him. And he lives where he was intended to live. In the water, right? Take a fish out of the water and he perishes. He might flap around a little while on the river bank, but eventually that which he was not created for gets the best of him.

So, I think it is with us. If, in fact, we were created to walk and talk in the garden with the Creator, anything short of that will get the best of us. Soooo...when we live lives that are absent of praise, worship, trust and a dependence on God, we walk a life contrary to what we were created for. And there we are flapping around on the banks of life trying to do it our way. All kinds of things creep in...worry, fear, anxiety, control....like I said, flapping around on the banks of life. Created to be a faith based person, that's the answer. That's who we are, who we are intended to be.

I'm not sure there is any lofty spiritual conclusion here. Just a little truth that might make a big change in my day to day dealings with the world around me. As a fish, I would be happiest in the river...as a human being I don't want to be flapping around, either. So off I go to the garden that God created me to live in....faith, trust, dependence on Him.

Changing Times

Times they are a-changing. It's about 5:30 in the morning and I've been up most of the night...again. Continuous sleep eludes me. At least 25 years ago there was a precious purpose to being awakened several times a night. Now it's just a pain. So go the times, I guess.

I don't know what brings me here this morning...except that to go downstairs would awaken a daughter and 2 little girls under the age of 5 and I'm not quite sure I'm ready for that yet this morning. So I came to the computer (in this completely destroyed scrapbook room) to find out the symptoms of walking pneumonia (another reason I may not be sleeping this week). Don't think I have that, but severe sinusitis, probably. So, going through my bookmarks I'm reminded that I, myself, have a blog! Thought I'd check it out and see how long it had been and what I was up to "back then". My last post was June...but was that 6/08 or 6/07??? Hm. But regardless, these changing times are causing havoc in a lot of my life. Some destructive havoc, and some God havoc that always results in growth and transformation.

I'm learning to play Grandma...sort of. Sitting next to me is a stack of "stuff" that Lillie calls her craft boxes. We do crafts together. With me working on so much wedding stuff it just seems natural for her to have her own little set up. She opens the TV table and brings down her boxes of markers, stamps and paper and we have a good ole time. Give the child some paper, scissors, and crayons and she will be content for HOURS! Sometimes I get very few wedding things accomplished because she likes to have my undivided attention. She's been making "stuff" for the wedd-en. I'm not quite sure how to deal with it really. I mean last night she took and entire pad of small post-it notes (which I would have NEVER let my kids do) and numbered them from 1 to whatever and put them in a container and said "these are fo the wed-en. We have to give one to evey purson" .... ok...so remind me....when she shows up at the wedd-en, will she really be looking for those things????? Like I said..I'm LEARNING to be a grandma. Most of the stuff she has made for the wedd-en has married the trash can. This could be a catastrophe. I'll have to get some sort of plan into action. Hmm. Any comments or ideas would be helpful.

I keep looking for the sun to come up but the street lights are still bright so it must not be a Jimmy Dean morning. Perhaps I'll try for a couple of hours more sleep. Who knows.